Krebs Dies! America Flips Out!

(Conspiracy Nation, 09/07/05) -- At left is the character Maynard G. Krebs, played by Bob Denver on the old "Dobie Gillis" show. It was revealed yesterday that Mr. Denver had died last week. Maynard G. Krebs ("The 'G' stands for 'Walter'") enjoyed playing the bongos, hanging out in coffee houses, and skipping college classes to go see films like, "The Creature That Ate Cleveland." Krebs avoided work whenever possible. He considered "work" to be "a four-letter word." So Krebs did not overconsume resources. He was environmentally friendly. Let Maynard G. Krebs be our model in this, our time of hysteria over diminishing resources. All over the Internet today are dire prognostications, bitter accusations, and racial arm-wrestling. "The Bush response to the New Orleans emergency was 'racist,'" vies with "Did you see how 'they' acted down there?" Two fiefdoms maneuver, behind the scenes, for pieces of the federal pie. Result: stasis, with "oppressed blacks" and "vicious blacks" cancelling each other out.

What would Krebs have done in the midst of post-Katrina hysteria? "Come on, Maynard," says Dobie. "Don't be a fence-sitter. Get involved."

"Involved!!! That sounds like a certain four-letter word!"

Last evening, this editor received a phone call from an old friend impulsively driving south to lend a hand in the devastated Louisiana/Mississippi region. "I've got room for you in the car if you want to go," he said. This old friend is 59-years-old, labeled "dysfunctional," with emotional and mental difficulties. He needs various medications to function more-or-less normally. Even so, he has difficulty with such things as writing letters, for example. But media hysteria sent him over the edge and now he drives south to lend a hand. God be with him.

"Lending a hand" might mean, in Rudyard Kipling's words, "If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you." First, do no harm. Maynard G. Krebs may not have been spectacular. On the other hand, he didn't get in the way.

Seemingly from nowhere appear "Hopi Elders" (see "Oh No! More Hopi Elders!" http://www.shout.net/~bigred/HopiGroaners.html), doomsayers, and squabbling politicians, along with flipped-out Americans galvanized into stridency. Suddenly, many are "involved." These same people will disappear, come this weekend, after momentarily grabbing the spotlight. This weekend, look around. All these limelighters will be relaxing at the golf course.

There are ways, beyond first doing no harm, in which you can help the survivors of the Katrina disaster. If you have any money to spare in these difficult economic times, instead of shopping for fashions at the latest sale you could donate that money to the Salvation Army. (http://www.salvationarmyusa.org/USNSAHome.htm) If you are especially inspired, you could phone the local Salvation Army branch and ask about volunteering.

The late Bob Denver also portrayed "Gilligan," on the show, "Gilligan's Island." He later moved to West Virginia and lived on a mountain, reportedly a "semi-hermit." A theme of alienation runs through his life: Maynard G. Krebs; Gilligan, who somehow keeps thwarting attempts to escape from the island; Bob Denver, semi-hermit. He may not have been much, but who will we miss the more? Chief Justice Rehnquist or the oddball bongo player? When you notice the flag at half-mast, ask yourself, "For whom does it really fly?"

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Conspiracy Nation
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