Pres. Bush Sees "Vast Conspiracy"
 
(Conspiracy Nation, 10/20/01) -- U.S. president George W. Bush is 
calling the Sept. 11th terror attacks on the World Trade Center and 
the Pentagon a "vast, global conspiracy." But less paranoid observers 
scoff at the notion.
 
"This is a common American reaction to what are in reality merely 
random events," stated professor G. Steadfast of Oberlin college. 
"President Bush is exhibiting paranoid symptoms, part of what I call 
'the paranoid style' in American politics."
 
Author Gerald Poser concurs: "What you have on September 11th is just 
three, random, lone nuts, who simultaneously hijacked planes. Because 
of the chance synchronicity of the events, which according to Chaos 
Theory, *can* happen, president Bush has jumped to paranoid 
conclusions. Case closed."
 
But conspiracy theorists throughout the world, drinking gallons of 
coffee and with tired eyes glued to Internet late at night, aren't so 
sure. Some even venture beyond what president Bush has said. "I see an 
evil man with a towel wrapped around his head, sitting in a cave, as 
being the ultimate mastermind of the plot," said one of these 
caffeinated theorists.
 
Chirp Ballet, noted writer, laughs at the multiplying theories born 
from president Bush's original theory. "Of course, there are no 
conspiracies," he chuckled. "But beware of the crypto-fascists," he 
added, as an afterthought.
 
Also dismissing notions of a "conspiracy" behind the Sept. 11 terror 
attacks is Umberto Eco, author of "Foucault's Pendulum." Eco offered 
his own scholarly perspective on the Bush conspiracy theory: "Ever 
since Nietzche dethroned God, with his statement 'God is dead,' there 
has been a 'God vacuum.' People such as president Bush seek to fill 
that void by creating a new 'God,' in the form of a vast conspiracy," 
he proselytized. "Hence, Mr. Bush *needs* to see a 'vast conspiracy,' as 
security blanket against God's demise."
 
But president Bush is adamant. "The attacks on the World Trade Center 
and the Pentagon were the acts of crazed assassins, coordinated by the 
Devil," he insisted.
 
And, Bush adds, "What about that fourth plane that crashed in 
Pennsylvania?"
 
"Merely a random event, allowable in the framework of Chaos Theory," 
responded Poser.