Dodd Turns Eyes On Bernanke

(Conspiracy Nation, 04/03/08) – Today, Senator Chris Dodd has turned his fearsome eyes on Ben Bernanke, chief of the “Federal” Reserve. Bernanke began to sweat at the sight of Dodd's bushy eyebrows, even before the senator had spoken. The scene today at the Senate Banking Committee hearing will be parsed in future days for clues. Some facts have already been gleaned.

Bernanke had crossed the Rubicon, and like some Caesar he had no worries. (“Caesar Bernanke Crosses Rubicon”, http://www.shout.net/~bigred/CaesarBernanke.html). An old soothsayer had warned the “Fed” chieftain, “Beware the ides of March,” but Bernanke paid no heed. Then, on his triumphal approach to the Eternal City (Washington, DC), a simpleton had asked mighty Bernanke, “Let me taste your wares.” Wisely, the learned professor responded, “Show me first your collateral.” It is not clear what happened next. Some say the simpleton replied, “Wah, I haven't any.” Others insist some sort of collateral was displayed. In any case, Bernanke did hand over $29 billion. (Background: “Simple Simon Meets The Pieman,” http://www.shout.net/~bigred/SimpleSimon.html)

But Caesar Bernanke's hubris was rattled yesterday in a heated exchange with Senator Ted Kennedy. It was a tense moment. Kennedy grew increasingly agitated by Bernanke's stonewalling of a question. “What's your recommendation?” asked Kennedy. “That's the Congress's purview,” answered Bernanke. Kennedy battered against the Bernanke barrier: “What's your position? What's your position!?” Kennedy turned red with rage at Bernanke's repeated, “That's the Congress's purview.” (“Bernanke Says the Word...”, by Sudeep Reddy. Wall Street Journal, April 3, 2008)

Today, as he entered the awesome chambers of the Senate Banking Committee, Bernanke had been momentarily discomfited by the presence there of a grizzled police sergeant who has been dogging Bernanke's trail. (Background: “Hanky Panky On Wall Street,” http://www.shout.net/~bigred/HankyPanky.html). But it was upon seeing the fierce eyes of Dodd, beneath his bushy eyebrows, that Bernanke felt his knees buckle beneath him.

Dodd began slowly, sizing up his man. “Isn't it true, professor, that your 'Fed' has now placed its own examiners into the investment 'banks'?” queried Dodd. Sheepishly, Bernanke was forced to admit this was so. “And professor, isn't it true that the 'collateral' you accepted from...” (Here, Dodd paused to confer with the grizzled police sergeant who was standing nearby.) “...you accepted from a person commonly known as 'Simple Simon', consists primarily of mortgage-backed securities and hedge fund investments?” Bernanke squirmed in his chair and whispered, “Yes.” “WHAT WAS THAT PROFESSOR!?” roared Dodd, “SPEAK UP!” “Yes, yes, yes!” exclaimed Bernanke, bursting into tears.

A brief recess was called, in order that Bernanke could compose himself. Further startling admissions emanating from the hearings are bound to surface in the coming days and weeks, once the dust has settled. Eventually, historical accounts of the Bear Stearns collapse will appear.

(The preceding mixes fact with fiction. Not all statements are accurate.)

Conspiracy Nation

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