(Conspiracy Nation, 06/25/05)
-- The Ether, once useful to "scientists," has been callously tossed
aside.
Some wrongly take this to mean The Ether has been "terminated." Not
so. Instead, the "scientists" decided it was "no longer necessary" and
simply abandoned it.
Stated The Ether, "No two-weeks notice! No severance pay! After all
I did for them!"
But one "scientist" complained that The Ether was "always resting"
and so doomed itself to unemployment.
The Ether has posted a "want ad" in the classified section of
several newspapers:
Situation Wanted: The Ether,
formerly useful to "scientists," now tossed aside. Am a tenuous gas
having the rigidity of steel. Cannot relocate since am at "absolute
rest" in "absolute space." Contact me via 19th-century physicists.
In "Tall Tales Of 'Science'" (http://www.shout.net/~bigred/TallTales.html),
Conspiracy Nation had
explained how the "scientists," after a hard day of measuring things,
like to unwind at the Humbug Tavern. There, they trade tall tales about
the universe. This is corroborated by one of the "scientists"
themselves, Gustav Kirchhoff. He did not like all the yarns being told
and insisted that "Concern with first causes or final reasons was to be
excluded from the scientific endeavor as fruitless, or hopeless (if not
meaningless)." Kirchhoff complained that "Even the notion of
explanation was suspect." ("Positivism." Encyclopedia Britannica 2005
electronic reference)
But the "scientists" disregarded Kirchhoff and continued their habit
of exchanging "whoppers."
One of the premiere leg-pullers of the claque, Albert Einstein, had
caused much merriment at the Humbug Tavern when he had denied "time" to
exist independently of motion. Building upon the measurement mindset
which noticed that "motion" cannot be measured without "time," Einstein
had extrapolated extremely "rapid" motion would cause "time" to slow
down. This "brought down the house" at the Humbug gathering and peals
of laughter could be heard from outside.
Later, a subsequent yarn by Einstein caused The Ether to be
abandoned.
"Einstein knifed me in the back," bitterly complained The Ether.
One evening, Einstein had tired of all the talk about "absolute
motion." "Let's just say it is impossible to measure 'absolute motion,'
and get rid of it with one fell swoop," he said. "But we would need
some new yarns," replied some of the "scientists" at the Humbug Tavern.
Einstein puffed and puffed on his pipe. "What is he smoking?" some
wondered. At last, his eyes lighted up and a mischievous smile was
seen. "We can say, all 'motion' is relative to arbitrary objects taken
to be at rest. And that no objects at all are more really 'at rest'
than any other."
"The theory of relativity," writes Isaac Asimov, "does not flatly
state that an ether does not exist. It does, however, remove the need
for one, and if it is not needed, why bother with it?" (Understanding Physics Vol.
II, ch. 8) So, under the new zeitgeist, The Ether, at "absolute rest,"
was not needed to measure "motion."
Abandoned in "absolute space," The Ether retorts, "I am in no hurry.
I'm not going anywhere. The 'scientists' are the ones who are in
'relative motion.' As for me, I can sit and wait."
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Conspiracy Nation
http://www.shout.net/~bigred/cn.html