Ominous Signs
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(Conspiracy Nation, 5/26/04) -- Portents of imminent upheaval
have become increasingly manifest following May 4th, when Jupiter stopped
going retrograde. Dim inklings of a momentous change first were noticed by
Conspiracy Nation about a year ago.
About a year ago, comedian Bob Hope passed away. The headlines proclaimed,
"Hope dies." At that time, Conspiracy Nation chalked up the double
entendre of "Hope dies" to a mere coincidence.
However, after Johnny Cash's death, when the newspapers ran the story
as "Cash dies," an unease was felt here at the offices of Conspiracy Nation.
Soon after Jupiter stopped going retrograde, news broke that supposedly
deceased comedian Andy Kaufman might not be dead after all. Leaving to one
side the question of whether Kaufman did or did not die on May 16, 1984, the
symbolic
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"He has risen."
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resurrection of Andy Kaufman, paired with the almost
simultaneous birth of a rare white buffalo, cannot escape the special notice of this editor.
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The Arizona Republic newspaper, in a recent article, reports that,
in Flagstaff, the owners of a bison herd were surprised "to find one of their
rare white buffaloes had given birth to something even rarer: a white calf."
Cherokee elder Darrel Whitewolf is alarmed. "White Buffalo Calf Woman has
returned," he suggests. "It has been brought to my attention that the elders
at this time are preparing the last ceremonies. The 'Hopi' who have no word
in their vocabulary for the future and are preparing to go underground. The
'Ojibwa' and the 'Lakota' are saying that we are at the end. They say and
I quote 'Go back and tell the people it is no longer the eleventh hour.'"
Also resigned to impending fate is comedian Rodney Dangerfield, reportedly
smoking pot and waiting for death. ("Gone to Pot," by Erik Hedegaard. Rolling
Stone magazine, 6/10/04)
The Conspiracy Nation editor is not an "Indian" (a.k.a. Native American),
so he cannot lean on the wisdom of aboriginal culture. But here is a riddle
for you: the Conspiracy Nation editor is not an indian, yet at the
same time, the Conspiracy Nation editor is a redman.
In The Wise Sayings of the Redman Elders, it is written: "Hope and
Cash shall die. Then will the white buffalo be born from the white buffalo
and the fool shall rise from the dead. The African shall fend off the gay,
yet shall in turn be fended off. The Memorial Rapture will startle many. In
the midst of troubles, the exiled king shall restore the land."
- Hope and Cash shall die: Deaths of Bob Hope and Johnny Cash.
- White buffalo born from the white buffalo: birth of Flagstaff white
buffalo calf.
- The fool shall rise from the dead: symbolic resurrection of Andy Kaufman.
- African fends off the gay then in turn is fended off: special oppressed
status belongs to African-Americans, that is their gig. Gays attempt to nudge
into Black turf but are defeated. Invading from the south are Mexicans who
will overwhelm Black territory.
- The Memorial Rapture: This Memorial Day weekend, half the people in
your town will suddenly disappear. The Internet also will be a virtual ghost
town.
"In the midst of troubles, the exiled king shall restore the land." Neither
John Forbes Kerry nor George W. Bush will be the next president of the United
States. The next president will be a man who has proven experience dealing
with energy crises. It will be impossible to re-elect this man in 2008. The
next U.S. president, "coincidentally," was prominent during Andy Kaufman's
heyday. Who is this exiled king? Jimmy Carter.
Carter, exiled after one term in office, cannot legally be re-elected
in 2008: hence there is a safeguard that he will only serve four years. Just
as Andy Kaufman has symbolically risen from the dead, Jimmy Carter will arise
from political exile. There is not a better feasible choice than the statesman-like
Carter.
"Welcome back, Carter."
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Conspiracy Nation. Think outside the box.
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