How Do You Spell “Ubuntu”?

(Conspiracy Nation, 01/09/08) – The technical department here at the vast offices of Conspiracy Nation is enthusiastic about its new Ubuntu Linux operating system. Such matters are beneath the lofty concerns of this editor, but the technical department pressures him to report on their “Ubuntu.” Based upon the Conspiracy Nation tech department's notes, here is what can be ascertained.

Tech Department (TD) has been trying different “flavors” of Linux for five years now: Mandrake, Red Hat, Fedora, and Debian. Debian was good, but due to slow releases of major new versions, it was thought Ubuntu would be worth a try.

Tech Department (TD) reports the Ubuntu install was remarkably easy. They had no trouble setting up a “dual boot” so the Debian “Sarge” is still present. (Apparently the “dual boot” can also co-exist with Windoze, the Microsoft monopoly operating system.)

Alarmed by possible cost over-runs, the Accounting Department (AD) here at the vast offices of Conspiracy Nation was pleased to learn the “Ubuntu” is basically free of charge. The only expense involved was the media itself (CDROM/DVD) and the delivery charge (via USPS, about three dollars). Total cost was under $15, and Accounting Department (AD) relaxed.

TD reports external devices such as printer, USB memory stick, and external hard drive used for backups were all easily detected by their “Ubuntu” and saved them headaches of configuration.

Conspiracy Angles

The Technical Department (TD) is doing cartwheels about their “Ubuntu.” But the Conspiracy Nation editor, wise to such euphorias, decided to do a little investigating on his own. Dressed inconspicuously, he visited the local library in this small, cosmopolitan city. There he located one of the Ubuntu tracts, tucked away on a shelf.

The tract, “Beginning Ubuntu Linux” (by Keir Thomas. Berkeley, CA: Apress, 2006), says “Ubuntu” is “an ancient African word” roughly translated as “humanity to others.” In South Africa, Ubuntu is “a way of life that advocates acceptance and compassion towards others.” This seems to boil down to co-operation, instead of dog-eat-dog.

Dog-eat-dog is, in other words, “Social Darwinism,” which equates Bill Gates to “top dog” who has eaten all the other dogs. Back in 1999, this editor wrote to the local newspaper of this small, cosmopolitan city, debunking Social Darwinism:

“An article in the Sunday, Sept. 5, 1999 issue of your newspaper promotes the erroneous concept of 'Social Darwinism',” chided the Conspiracy Nation editor. “Darwin's observation that some species prey on other species has somehow been twisted into the idea that it is 'natural' for members of one's own species to prey upon each other. This twisting of Darwin is used to justify ruthless 'dog eat dog' mentalities in business. But Darwin himself, in his book 'The Descent Of Man,' dwells not on sometimes ruthless inter-species behavior but rather on the preponderance of intra-species mutual cooperation and even mutual cooperation between different species. Prince Peter Kropotkin shows the immense implications to be derived from Darwin's observations on the preponderance of mutual cooperation in nature in his book, 'Ethics: Origin and Development'.”

In other words, Bill Gates is a mutant. (Contrary to some “scientists,” the apes descended from us. The scientists have got it backwards.)

So we find the Ubuntu is the anti-Gates. Or Bill Gates is the anti-Christ and Ubuntu is Sir Galahad. Or Linux is the Quest for the Grail.

But the Ubuntu philosophy, although noble, could be “twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools.” (“If,” by Rudyard Kipling):

“If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken, Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools.” (Portion of Kipling poem)

So watch out for that, truly idealistic Ubuntu persons. Watch out for mutants, disguised by Cthulhu as “part of the team,” who are actually predators. Watch out that Ubuntu does not get twisted by knaves.

Conspiracy Nation

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