(Melchizedek Communique, MC020610) An assembly of the pipe cleaner men has issued "Turkish Blend", a high-level terror alert, for the upcoming Super Bowl on February 7th.

The pipe cleaner men came into being because the Melchizedek Communique editor refuses to watch television, in protest that X-Files went off the air. Unable to watch the Super Bowl on television, the editor constructed men from pipe cleaners to help visualize the football game. But waiting for the game to begin, the pipe cleaner men began to talk. (Background: "Pipe Cleaner Men Offer Opinion", http://www.shout.net/~bigred/mc020410.html

"We see the theme of infantilism, both in the Christmas Day underwear bomb attack and in the imminent Super Bowl," observed Monsieur Meerschaum. "The infantile Santa Claus expectations of Christmas are paralleled by the infantile 'The Who' guitar smashing."

The Who, a British rock group, is slated to perform during the Super Bowl half-time. Instrument destruction had been a staple of The Who's shows for several years.

"Then too," added Clement Calabash, Ph.D, "a few days ago, Dennis C. Blair, the director of national intelligence, told lawmakers that Al Qaeda and its affiliates had made it a high priority to attempt a large-scale attack on American soil within the next six months." [1]

Senator Dianne Feinstein asked Mr. Blair to assess the possibility of an attempted attack in the United States in the next three to six months. "The priority is certain, I would say," Blair responded. [1]

Zeke Corncob chuckled and said, "You fellers are missing the big picture: civil unrest."

"Ah, monsieur, perhaps you can explain?" queried Meerschaum.

"Can do, pappy," responded Corncob. "This here Limbaugh fella has been giving Obama ants in his pants. But if the terror comes during the Super Bowl infantilism, then Obama can wrap himself in the flag, like ol' Dubya used to do."

Professor Calabash further explained that, when Obama wraps himself in the flag, people could say to Rush Limbaugh, "President Obama is our Commander-in-Chief during this time of crisis. Mr. Limbaugh, are you a True American, or are you not?"

"Exact-a-mond!" exclaimed Monsieur Meerschaum. "Thees Limbaugh must support the troops, he must support the mission, and so must support the Commander-in-Chief!"

"It all fits," concluded Briar Hookah. "The infantilism of Super Bowl day, the CYA (Cover Your Ass) warning from Dennis C. Blair, a clampdown on escalating civil unrest, and a way to intimidate Limbaugh."

"But ah," sighed Monsieur Meerschaum, "where will we pipe cleaner men be, the day after Super Bowl? Will Monsieur Editor disassemble us then?"

------- Notes -------
[1] "Senators Warned of Terror Attack on U.S. by July," by Mark Mazzetti. New York Times, Feb. 2, 2010