(Melchizedek Communique, MC121509) Giant lobsters will attack the polar bears! The polar ice will vanish in 5 to 7 years! A tense atmosphere clouds the Copenhagen climate talks!

Only the Great Obama at this point can salvage an increasingly deteriorating situation. All eyes turn to the American president. "Oh save us, Obama! Save us!" is the cry.

And he, meanwhile, a mild-mannered professor from a great metropolitan university, fights a never-ending battle for change, hope, and the urgency of now!

"Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird... It's a plane..." No, it is the Great Obama, flying in to rescue the Copenhagen global warming summit!

President Barack Obama was brought here secretly by Nazi rocket scientists who relocated to the United States after World War II. These repatriated Nazi rocket scientists were the basis for the mysterious NASA organization. And NASA, it turns out, is hiding the climate data! ("Ben Bernanke Causes Global Warming", http://www.shout.net/~bigred/mc120409.html)

A "leading NASA ice scientist, Jay Zwally, said last year that the Arctic could be essentially ice-free within 'five to less than 10 years.'" Highly alarmed, Al Gore, a kindly Tennessee lawyer, jetted to the Copenhagen climate talks. He brought with him his trusty slide show. Hundreds of scientists gasped as Gore underlined the urgency of now. [1]

But the Evil Petroleum Meanies responded quickly. Somehow the climatologist whose work Mr Gore was relying upon cast doubt on the amazing claims of the Tennessee lawyer. "The embarrassing error cast another shadow over the conference after the controversy over the hacked e-mails from the University of East Anglia's Climate Research Unit, which appeared to suggest that scientists had manipulated data to strengthen their argument that human activities were causing global warming." [2]

But hovering over the situation now is a threat of giant lobsters! If carbon emissions soar, we could end up with super-sized lobsters, reports National Public Radio (NPR). [3] The Evil Petroleum Meanies are burning the carbon. The heat gets trapped in the atmosphere. This causes the lobsters to grow. The polar ice melts. The polar bears move south, and encounter the giant lobsters. The creatures rip and claw at each other, causing the schoolchildren to weep and beg the grown-ups to act responsibly. This all might happen, unless the Copenhagen climate talks succeed!

At this dire moment, when the entire future hangs in the balance, you won't want to miss a single news report! So tune in, and watch lots of television! Buy newspapers and read the stunning truth!

Only one man can save us now! The atmosphere at the U.N. climate conference has grown more tense. [4] Only the arrival of the Great Obama can salvage the crisis! ("Here I come, to save the day! That means that Mighty O is on his way.")

------- Notes -------
[1] "Gore: Polar ice may vanish in 5-7 years", by Charles J. Hanley. AP, Dec. 14, 2009
[2] "Inconvenient truth for Al Gore as his North Pole sums don't add up", by Hannah Devlin et al. Times (U.K.) Online, Dec. 15, 2009
[3] "Giant Lobsters From Rising Greenhouse Gases?", NPR, Dec. 12, 2009
[4] "Tense atmosphere clouds climate talks", by Arthur Max. AP, Dec. 14, 2009